


The Happiest Man on Earth

by secrets_i_cant_reveal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Insecure Castiel, M/M, Pining Castiel, Romance, Sweet Sex, Top Dean, Unhappy Castiel, Unrequited Love, Virgin Castiel, but not really, lovemaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3666360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secrets_i_cant_reveal/pseuds/secrets_i_cant_reveal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel opens is eyes and his first thought is, I should not be here.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In a little corner of an obscure street in Kansas lives the happiest man on Earth.

******************************************************************************************************

Castiel awakes every morning to go to work as a tax occountant in the bustling city of Wichita. He drives the distance in his car which is in dire need of repairs he has been postponing for a while now. His work is not particularly interesting or boring, and he performs it methodically, if a little mechanically. He has many acquaintances, not many friends. He takes lunch alone at a diner down the street, and the waitresses no longer raise their eyebrows at the man sitting alone week after week. He works longer than he is required to, because there is no one at home waiting for him. He drives back at around 8, buying groceries and supplies along the way once a week, radio turned off. At home, he eats alone, and soon after, sleeps alone.

Castiel is gay. He regrets coming out to his parents, because though he realised his feelings for men, he has never acted upon them, never once been propositioned, never slept with anyone. His parents threw him out after his confession. An illustrous career as a lawyer had been in store for him if he had continued to live with his parents, and though Castiel isn't sure if he would have liked it, it would have meant a luxurious life, a pretty wife, a sprawling mansion wherever he wanted. After he became homeless he used the scholarships he had obtained in high school to study accountancy in a local college, working as a dishwasher and a busboy to support himself. He graduated, got a job, and never looked back.

No one has fallen in love with Castiel, and Castiel, though attracted to some men, has never had the courage to act on his impulses. A lifetime of suppressing his desires has smothered something in Castiel, the will to take what he wants. I'm not good enough, he tells himself and shrugs it off, there is no way that guy could want me. Way out of my league. He is hit by pangs of loneliness sometimes, acutely at night, when he longs for a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped around him, a quiet voice telling Cas that he loves him. But he treats it as a fantasy and nothing else, because it is isn't going to happen. Probably never.

Castiel's life is about to change, though he has no clue.

*******************************************************************************************************

Years later Castiel will thank his tardiness for never getting his car serviced, but the rainy, soggy day of July which sees him stranded on the side of the road at 9 on a lonely night is not that time. He curses and kicks at the tires, but Castiel wouldn't know a wrench if it slapped him in the face, and he hasn't the slightest idea how to fix a car. He wants to lift the hood to check but smoke coming out from under it and a strange whirring sound makes him decide against it.

He has been standing here for an hour, and no one will give him a lift. The trech coat he wears makes him look shifty, but Castiel is thankful it is here. His clothes are somewhat dry because of it, and it makes him feel safe, even though it is just a placebo effect. It's claustrophobic for him to sit inside an unmoving car. His face and hair are drenched; he looks like a drowned cat, eyes squinty and face pissy. He seriously considers walking home tonight, leaving his stupid car by the side of the road and abandoning it there for ever. Kind of like how you've been abandoned, his brain unhelpfully supplies, but he shuts it off.  
A vintage car, in so much better condition than his from the looks of it, slows down beside his broken one just as he is tightening his coat around himself. Castiel cannot see who or how many people there are in the car, but he can vaguely make out that the driver is a man, leaning into the backseat to retrieve something. The car door opens, an umbrella unfurls, and the man straightens up to look right at him. Castiel's breath stutters to a screeching halt.

The man is beautiful. Through the rain and in the dark, even though he isn't much visible, the man is glorious, symmetrical, plush-lipped and perfect. Castiel cannot compare him to a model, or an angel. Models are fake, angels are mythical, bu this man is real, and yet at the same time, straight out of a fantasy. Castiel's fantasy.

He is startled to see that the man has stopped before him, asking, for the second time, "Can i give you a lift?"

Castiel is chronically afraid of strangers and new people and people offering lifts in dark cars on dark nights and yet, he says yes.

On the way they talk, introduce themselves. The enigmatic stranger is Dean, and as luck would have it, is a mechanic. He calls the garage where he works, Singer Salvage, and gives them the address where Castiel's car has broken down, asking them to tow it away. He promises Castiel he'll take a look at it, and takes Cas' number to call him when the work is done. He calls Castiel Cas, and Castiel is christened by a man he doesn't know. He doen't care. Castiel is dropped off in from of his apartment and he almost calls the starnger in for a cup of tea. but he chickens out and just thanks him for the ride.

In bed that night Castiel cries because of how pathetic he is, that he is so lonely he is infatuated by a man who just did him a a good turn, albeit a beautiful man, but one who was just playing Good Samaritan.  
*******************************************************************************************************************

Dean repairs his car and calls Castiel two days later. When Castiel arrives at Singer Salvage Dean is about to take his lunch, and he asks Castiel if he is hungry. Castiel has eaten some sort of a measly breakfast but he too has skipped lunch to come collect his car, so he and Dean go together to the diner where Cas has eaten alone so far. The waitresses are stunned to see their regular with the gorgeous man, and are so glad for him, that they offer two slices of apple pie on the house, which Dean gleefully accepts.

They talk about everything, and Castiel doesn't remember the last time he had a conversation this long or this engaging with anybody. Dean has a younger brother, Sam, who is studying law, and Castiel is tempted, briefly, to tell him of his own brush with the profession and why it never came to pass, but he can't. He doesn't want Dean to know he's a fag, or his pathetic life story. Such problems, these worries of the real world, they fade in the presence of Dean's sunny smile, his shimmering green eyes. Castiel feels a flush rise to his cheeks as Dean licks the pie off his lips and asks for the check. They split the bill and walk back together to the garage, where Castiel pays and collects his car.

He fervently hopes that Dean will give him his own number, or ask to see him again, but Dean doesn't say anything of the sort and Castiel, disappointed yet brought with a jolt back to reality, doen't ask himself.

*********************************************************************************************************************

Castiel's car sees the inside of Singer Salvage a lot more in the next four weeks. Castiel keeps a sharp ear out for the slightest sound, the slightest bump while driving, and immediately takes the car for servicing each time he notices something is wrong. Dean always seems pleased to see him, and always checks Cas' car himself even if one of the other mechanics like Benny are free, even if he has one or two cars to tend to before Cas'. Of course, that means that Castiel has to take the bus to work sometimes, or wake up an hour earlier to walk to his office, but it's worth it. A tiny part of him says that it's futile, that Dean is only doing it because he gets paid more for more number of cars he works on, but Castiel doen't care.

Castiel is often embarrased because he brings his car in for no reason at all, for problems he's making up, but Dean always seems to take them seriously, keeping his car overnight or for two days before handing it back. Cas purposely shows up during lunch time, and they eat together a few more times, and different places, once even at the Roadhouse, whose owner Ellen is Bobby's wife, the man who run Singer Salvage. Their daughter Jo is like a sister to Dean, and together they are like Dean's extended family. After their first lunch together Castiel always offers to pay for the whole meal himself, but Dean insists they split it, so they do.

Castiel wants to give Dean a reason to stay in his drab life. He knows he doesn't have even a tenth of Dean's magnificent good looks, and Dean is probably straight and can have whoever he wants, but he can do this. He can pay for both of them when they go out, even he can’t really afford it, he can make sacrifices, and he can skip office for a day to pick a good colour for his car’s outrageously expensive paint job. He can take what he gets, Dean’s friendship, his time and his company, in lieu of the real thing, Dean’s love, which he knows he won’t get and doesn’t deserve to.  
*************************************************  
Castiel and Dean have been friends for eight months. Cas used his car as an excuse to keep meeting for months, until it got old and he had to think of something else. He met Dean’s brother Sam, an undergrad studying law, and they hit it off, and the trio formed an unlikely and surprising friendship. They hung out together, at the movies or to watch the game, which Castiel doesn’t have much interest in but only tolerates because Dean is so raucous and noisy and excited during these games, and it is a treat for Castiel to watch him so happy.  
He thinks Sam suspects of his feelings for Dean, but Sam never says anything, for which Castiel is extremely glad. He doesn’t want to lose out on this friendship with the Winchester brothers; neither does he want to lose any opportunity to see Dean. Hence when Castiel is invited to a party at his office, he first refuses, but on learning that he is being awarded some sort of a bonus for his work, he assents and asks if he can invite two of his friends. His colleague is shocked, mostly because she never knew that Castiel had any friends, but she agrees.  
Dean and Castiel spend the entire duration of the party with each other, Sam having taken off an hour after the party begins to prepare for an assignment the next day. Co-workers come up to Castiel and congratulate him on winning the bonus, and Castiel thanks them, but his eyes are on Dean. He is stunned when he feels Dean’s hand brush against his as they stand on the terrace, watching everyone dance at the party. Castiel so dearly wants to ask Dean to dance with him, but he terrified of being punched so he doesn’t ask, sips his drink quietly. When Dean asks him to dance he is so surprised he nearly falls off the ledge, but Dean grips his hand, pulls him to the main floor, and they twirl together, both not really adept at dancing but content with moving together, Cas’ hand still tightly held by Dean.  
When they are ready to leave Dean goes to get the car, and Castiel is alone, waiting on the steps of his office building. A few of his colleagues had asked him if Dean and him were an item, and though he wanted nothing more than to say, yes we are, he politely denied. He knew he was doing wrong by pretending in his own mind that he and Dean were a couple, and that it was going to hurt like hell when Dean finally met someone, but he hadn’t fallen so low, that he would lie to other people about his relationship with Dean.  
Cas gets into the car next to Dean and closes the door behind himself, nearly jumping in the air when Dean places a hand over his. When he turns, Dean is looking at him in a way which makes a bolt of heat shoot through him, makes his nerves spark with terror and anticipation and desire. Dean’s fingers curl tighter around his palm, and he asks, “Come home with me?”  
Castiel nods.  
************************************************  
Castiel is silent as Dean expertly manoeuvres through the light traffic, thoughts zipping across his mind. He did not know that Dean felt the same way about him. No, he corrects himself, not really the same way. He may not have had sex but he understands it, understands the concept of one-night stands, knows that this could be a one-time fuck and Dean would probably never see him again after this. Castiel is fine with this, fine with being treated like this. He looks to the side where Dean is humming a tune and tapping his thumb and fingers to go with it and realises he’s in love, he’s in love with a man who only wants him for a night, and if that is all that Castiel can get, then it is all that he wants.  
******************************************************  
Once they step inside the darkness of Dean’s apartment Castiel turns to face him. He is dimly aware that the house is big, bigger than his, spacious and airy, but his eyes are transfixed on Dean. Dean, who slowly advances towards him and pulls Castiel closer, with a hand on his hip and a hand curled around the nape of his neck, who breathes against his lips, “I want you, Cas.”  
Castiel closes the distance between their lips and kisses him.  
Castiel thinks that maybe he has misunderstood casual sex, because he was under the impression that it is quicker and rougher than this, a half-clothed, heated yet passionless fumble, done in fifteen, out in five kind of thing. He definitely doesn’t think it could be like this, but he isnn’t complaining, no he isn’t.  
Dean pushes his suit jacket off his shoulders, unbuttons his shirt, and Castiel, alarmed that he would do something wrong or grab Dean the wrong way, keeps his hands by his side, reluctant to reach out. His face burns with shame as his shirt falls off, his eyes downcast, aware that Dean is studying his body and hoping fervently, that he likes what he sees.  
But when he raises his eyes Dean isn’t staring at his body, but at his face, and he steps closer, and closer, until there is no distance between them and whispers, “You’re gorgeous.”  
The clothes vanish piece by piece, lost as they make their way to the bed, and Dean’s arms cradle him as Cas falls backward onto the bed with a soft thump. He moans low in his throat as kisses rain over his body, his throat, his shoulders, his chest, holding tightly onto Dean, feeling like he is about to fly away due to the pleasure coursing through him. Dean gets on his knees and Castiel briefly wonders if he is supposed to suck Dean off, panicking because he has no experience, but the opposite happens, as Dean shuffles backwards on his knees down the bed and takes Castiel’s hard length into his mouth. Castiel shouts out, claws at the sheets, his brain short circuiting with bliss. Dean is fast, sucking hard and taking him in deep, and his hands are kneading Castiel’s ass, and Cas whimpers, absolutely whimpers and comes down his throat, unable to even warn him beforehand.  
He thinks Dean must be offended because he was forced to swallow, but Dean simply shuffles back up and grins at him happily, nipping his earlobe as he asks, “How was that?”  
Castiel can’t get a sound out of his mouth, and Dean counts that as a victory.  
Then Dean touches his hole, asking wordlessly, and Cas simply parts his legs further, because he wants it so bad he thinks he will die if Dean doesn’t fuck him tonight, but is afraid it might hurt, because he has never had anything in there ever, so the words rush out of his mouth before he can stop them, “Go slow, it’s my first time.”  
Dean pauses, and Castiel thinks this is it, Dean doesn’t want to sleep with a virgin, he is going to toss him out on his ass in this unknown neighbourhood, but Dean smiles tenderly and kisses him, again and again, running his hands through his hair and tells him, “I’ll be careful.”  
Dean preps Castiel open so thoroughly and painstakingly, that little tears pool in the corners of Cas’ eyes, unable to believe that Dean could be so gentle, so affectionate, in utter disbelief that this is happening, that Dean is going to be inside of him, Dean is going to make love to him, and he doesn’t care if it’s a one-night stand, it feels like lovemaking to him, so sue him, and he realises that Dean is done stretching him open, and asked him twice now if he feels okay.  
Castiel blushes, embarrassed and whispers, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. Wasn’t paying attention, I’m sorry.”  
Dean smirks and kisses him again, and when he speaks, it is against his lips and Castiel shivers, because it feels so intimate here beneath Dean that he wants to weep, and Dean repeats, “You feel okay? Because if you don’t, we don’t have to do this.”  
“I want this.”

Dean nods as if to ground himself and shifts so that his cock is pressed against his hole, but he doesn't push in. Instead, he caresses his face and kisses his throat, up to his lips and his hair where he takes a heady whiff of Cas, and Castiel, despite himself, sucks deep kisses into Dean wherever he can. So enraptured is he in the moment that he doesn't realise when Dean has begun to push in, inch by inch, then he gasps and Dean whispers against his cheek to relax and breathe and he's in, all the way in, and Castiel has never felt that he belonged with anyone ever, until this moment.  
Dean's eyes remain locked with Cas and the tip of his nose nudged against his for the entirety of their lovemaking, mouths meeting and separating breathelessly, and when they are done Castiel is so exhausted that he forgets to even worry if it is okay for him to spend the night with Dean or not.


	2. I want you, if you'll have me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel opens is eyes and his first thought is, I should not be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I have updated chapter two after such a long hiatus. Tell me what you thought of it, and if you have any fic ideas, plzzz inbox me, 'coz I'm all out of inspiration. Enjoy.

Castiel opens is eyes and his first thought is, _I should not be here_.

He did not know that sex would make him feel this way. Every muscle in his body feels used, a slackness pervades his limbs and he still feels the motion of last night, blushing hard at the memory. Dean. He feels like a favorite shirt, wrung out, worn hundreds of times, faded inside and out, lovingly owned. He tries to block these thoughts out, focusing instead on how pissed Dean will be if he finds Castiel still in his bed at - and he glances at the alarm on the bedside table - shit, 9.30. He obviously wont be okay with Castiel still camped out here. He's already missed work, and his and Dean's friendship is now history. What a start to the day.

He turns around, and almost lets out a startled yelp at the sight of Dean, lying on his chest, sunlight bouncing off his naked ass, one twinkling green open looking at him, one eye still asleep. He seems to have scooted down the bed during the night, now closer to Castiel's hip, limbs flung as though in celebration. 'Mornin', he drawls, eyes locked with Castiel's. Castiel tries to reply, but his throat is so dry from sleep and his hoarse moans at night that he can't get a word out. Dean gets it, extending a hand and dragging it leisurely down his hip as he says, "Why don't you get up while I fix you some coffee and breakfast, huh?". He rolls off of bed without direction and finds his discarded boxers at his feet, pulling them on and ambling out of the bedroom as Castiel watches without blinking.

Castiel shuffles out into the kitchen in his rumpled clothes as Dean rapidly whips an omlette in a plastic bowl with an eye on the brewing coffee, and some bacon frying on the pan. Castiel didn't want to say anything and startle Dean but he can't help asking, "All this for me?". It feels like a tiny feast, and the last time someone made breakfast for Cas was over fifteen years ago.

"Yeah", Dean says brightly, "Well, I'm gonna eat it too, but, yeah." He serves the omlette and bacon hot on one plate, two mugs of coffee, and Castiel takes shy bites of the omlette while Dean chews heartily like a healthy animal. Castiel wants to say something, some kind of acknowledgement of the night past, some discussion about what happens next, but Dean seems unbothered so Castiel forces himself to calm down, lowering his eyes so that he does not shamelessly stare at Dean in all his bare-chested glory.

He is so occupied with being invisible to Dean that he does not notice Dean sidling up next to him, one hand propped on the table, the other hovering over Castiel's shoulder. Castiel looks up at him and is struck by the sincerity in his eyes, much like it was last night as he moved inside him, back with a renewed fire. He whispers, "I think... I think there's something amazing between us. I want you, if you'll have me."


End file.
